
TSDENISON L COMPANY 

PUBLISHERS CHICAGO 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Large Cataloeue Free. 
Price ISc each. Postpaid, Unless Different Price Is Given 



DRAMAS, COMEDIES, 
ENTERTAINMENTS, Etc. 

M. F. 

Aaron Boggs, Freshman, 3 

acts, 2ji hrs (25c) 8 8 

Abbu San of Old Japan, 2 acts, 

2 hrs (2Sc) 13 

After the Game, 2 acts, 1% 

hrs (25c) 1 9 

All a Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 4 4 

All on Account of Polly, 3 acts, 

214 hrs (25c) 6 10 

American Hustler, 4 acts, 2y2 

hrs (2Sc) 7 4 

As a Woman Thinketh, 3 acts, 

2yz hrs (25c) 9 7 

At the End of the Rainbow, 3 

acts, 2^4 hrs -..(25c) 6 14 

Bank Cashier, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 8 4 

Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 h. (25c) 9 3 
Boy Scout Hero, 2 acts, 1^ hrs. 

(2Sc) 17 

Brookdale Farm, 4 acts, 2^4 

hrs (2Sc) 7 3 

Brother Josiah, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Burns Rebellion, 1 hr (25c) 8 5 

Busy Liar, 3 acts, 2j4 h. (?5c) 7 4 
Civil Service, 3 acts, 2% hrs. 

(25c) ., 6 3 

College Town, 3 acts, 2]^ 

hrs (25c) 9 8 

Danger Signal, 2 acts, 2 hrs. . 7 4 
Daughter of the Desert, 4 

acts, 2% hrs (25c) 6 4 , 

Deacon Dubbs, 3 acts, 214 hrs. 

(25c) 5 5 

Deacon Entangled, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 6 4 

Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 2 '4 

hrs (25c) 8 4 

Dream That Came True, 3 

acts, 2^ hrs (25c) 6 13 

Editor-in-Chief,.! hr (25c) 10 

Enchanted Wood, 1% h.(35c).Optnl. 
Everj'youth, 3 acts, lyi h. (25c) 7 6 
Face at the Window, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (2Sc) 4 4 

Fun on the Podunk Limited, 

11/2 hrs (2Sc) 9 14 

Heiress of Hoetown, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 8 4 

Her Honor, the Mayor, 3 acts, 

2 hrs. (25c) 3 5 

High School Freshman, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 12 

Honor of a Cowboy, 4 acts, 2^/^ 

hrs (2Sc)13 4 

Indian Days, 1 hr (SOc) S 2 



M. F. 

In Plum Valley, 4 acts, 2]4 

hrs (25c) 6 4 

Iron Hand, 4 acts, 2 hrs. . (25c) 5 4 
Jayville Junction, IVz hrs.(25c)14 17 
Kicked Out of College, 3 acts, 

214 hrs (25c) 10 9 

Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 

acts, 2]4 hrs (25c) 6 12 

Laughing Cure, 2 acts, 1^4 hrs. 

(2Sc) 4 5 

Lexington, 4 acts, 214 h. .(25c) 9 4 
Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 2% hrs. 

(:5c) 7 4 

Lodge of Kye Tyes, 1 lir.(25c)13 
Man from Borneo, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (2Sc) 5 2 

Mirandy's Minstrels (2Sc) Optn!. 

Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytown, 3 

acts, 214 hrs (2Sc) 4 7 

New Woman, 3 acts, I hr.... 3 6 
Old Maid's Club, lyi hrs.(25c) 2 16 
Old Oaken Bucket, 4 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 8 6 

Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 

1J4 hrs (25c) 12 9 

On the Little Big Horn, 4 acts, 

21/2 hrs (25c) 10 4 

Out in the Streets, 3 acts, 1 hr. 6 4 
Parlor Matches, 2 acts, 1}4 hrs. 

(25c) 4 5 

Poor Married Man, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (2Sc) 4 4 

Prairie Rose, 4 acts, 2^ h.(25c) 7 4 

Rummage Sale, 50 min 4 10 

Rustic Romeo, 2 acts, 2]4 

hrs (25c) 10 12 

Savageland, 2 acts, 2^/^ hrs. (SOc) 5 5 
School Ma'am, 4 acts, 1^ hrs. 6 5 
Scrap of Paper, 3 acts, 2 hrs.. 6 6 
Sewing for the Heathen, 40 niin. 9 
Southern Cinderella, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (2Sc) 7 

Star Bright, 3 acts, 214 h. CSc) 6 5 
Teacher, Kin I Go Home? 2 

scenes, 35 min 7 3 

Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Thread of Destiny, 3 acts, 2yi 

hrs (25c) 9 16 

Tonv, the Convict, 5 acts, --'i 

"hrs (25c) 7 4 

Town Marshal, 4 acts, 2!4 

hrs (25c) 6 3. 

Trial of Hearts, 4 acts, 2^4 hrs. 

(25c) 6 18 

Trip to Storyland, 154 hrs. (25c) 17 23 
Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 214 hrs. (25c) 8 3 
Under Blue Skies, 4 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 7 10 

Under the Laurels, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 6 4 
When the Circus Came to 

Town, 3 acts, 2^4 hrs. (25c) 5 3 



T.S.DENISON & COMPANY, Publisiiers,154 W.Randolph St., Chicago 



THE FIRE ESCAPE 



A COMEDY IN ONE ACT 



KATHARINE KAVANAUGH 
u 

AUTHOR OF 

'Countess Kate," "The Man Who Came Back" "A Minister Pro 

Tern," "The Queen of Diamonds," "Under Blue Skies,'" 

"When the Worm Turned," "IVho's a Coivard?" 

"A Woman's Strategy," etc. 




CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 



ClI/'/o 



THE FIRE ESCAPE ^^ 



CHARACTERS. . 

John Baxter The Man 

Mr. Thompson The Oivner of the Apartment 

The Fireman , . . „ o . . 

The Janitor 

Gwendolyn Mudd The Girl 



Note.- -The parts of the Fireman and Janitor are very short and 
can be played by a stage hand. The same inan can do both by 
changing his coat and hat, as only his head shows at the window. 



Place — An Apartment House in a City. 



Time — The Present. 



Time of Playing — Aboiif Twenty Minutes. 



PROPERTIES. 

Cage with stuffed parrot for Baxter. The parrot is not 
necessary if the cage has bars placed close together. Other- 
wise any stuffed bird will answer. Empty hat box for 
Gwendolyn. Tray of sandwiches for Baxter. Decanter of 
wine or any soft drink for Gwendolyn. 

// *v,- >' 

ij A '-^ 

COPYRIGHT, 1917, BY EBEN H. NORRIS. "■# ^ 

APR 18 1917 ^(Q)CiD 46G96 



THE FIRE ESCAPE 



THE STORY OF THE PLAY 

A man living in an apartment building is driven from 
his room by a fire. He escapes by getting onto the roof, 
crossing the roofs of the adjoining buildings and climbing 
down a fire escape. Finding an open window on the way 
down and being clad only in his pajamas, he enters. Be- 
fore he has gotten his bearings, he is joined by a young 
lady in nightgown and negligee who has escaped in the 
same manner and they strike up an acquaintance under 
rather embarrassing but highly amusing circumstances. 

Before long they are joined by another man, a stranger, 
who seems to feel rather at home and for the sake of ap- 
pearances they pose as husband and wife. Complications 
immediately ensue. The supposed husband and wife raid 
the pantry, make apologies for the apartment, contradict 
each other on many vital points of their family life — for 
example, the baby — and the more hopelessly they become 
entangled, the more the stranger seems to enjoy their pre- 
dicament. 

Finally when the situation has become acute, the janitor 
appears at the window and calls the supposed husband and 
wife by their right names. They have to admit to the 
stranger that they lied about being married and upon in- 
quiring who he is, he calmly puts his feet on the table and 
informs them he is the owner of the apartment. But the 
fire has served its purpose in human affairs and the indica- 
tions are that the scantily clad young man and woman will 
soon have an apartment of their very own which will re- 
quire no apologies. 



COSTUMES 

Baxter — ^Up-to-date young man, dressed in pajamas and 
bathrobe. 

Gwendolyn — Attractive young woman in nightgown and 
negligee, and wearing boudoir cap. 



4 THE FIRE ESCAPE 

Thompson — A man of forty, perhaps, dressed in business 
suit. 

Fireman, in uniform, and Janitor in suitable rough 
clothes. 



Scene Plot 




W'"d°w Baby's Cradle ^-L 
Doop 



.-, ^„c,, Table 

QChair 




STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R., means right of the stage; C, center; R. C, right cen- 
ter; L., left; I E., first entrance; U.E., upper entrance; 
R. J E., right entrance up stage, etc.; R. D., right door; 
L. D., left door, etc. ; up stage, away from footlights ; down 
stage, near footlights. The actor is supposed to be facing 
the audience. 



THE FIRE ESCAPE 



Scene: An apartment, top floor of the building. Doors 
R. U. E. and L. U. E. A broad windozv C, shozving 
fire escape outside. A table L. C. Fireplace R. 2. Couch 
and easy chairs. In extreme L. U. E. corner a baby's cradle. 

At rise of curtain a sound of fire engines puffing off stage, 
red lights showing at window. 

Baxter, dressed in pajamas and bath robe, and carrying 
a stuffed parrot in a cage, comes down fire escape, enters 
through windozv. He seems to be unconscious of the fact 
that he is carrying anything, looks around room, finds no 
one, at last calls out : 

Baxter. I beg your pardon — is anybody at home? 
{Pause.) I say — I'm sorry jto break in like this — {lowers 
his voice). They're either asleep or out looking at the fire. 
It's up to me to try to find somebody. {Exits L. U. E.) 

Gwendolyn, in nightgozvn and negligee, and boudoir 
cap, enters through window, coming dozvn fire escape. She 
carries very carefidly an empty hat box, looks about the 
room inquiringly. 

GwEN. Mercy ! I wonder whose apartment this is ? Must 
be the Haddon Hall apartment house — it's the third door 
from ours — and I've come across two roofs. I hope there 
is a woman here. It would be awful if I have dropped into 
a man's rooms. {Looks out of window.) Oh, dear, what a 
fire! I wonder if everybody escaped. 

Fireman comes dozvn fire escape. Does not enter. 

GwEN. Mister Fireman, is there any danger of its reach- 
ing here? 

Fireman. No, miss ; don't you worry. We've got it 
under control. {He continues on down fire escape.) 

5 



6 THE FIRE ESCAPE 

Baxter enters L. U. E., still has bird cage. Gwen turns 
and sees him. They both begin to speak at once. 

Gwen. and Baxter. I hope you will excuse me for enter- 
ing your apartment — {they stop suddenly, realizing they are 
both saying the same thing. After a slight pause they be- 
gin again.) 

Gwen. and Baxter. Why, this isn't my apartment— 
{stop and look foolishly at each other). 

Gwen. I think if we tried it one at a time we should 
get along better. 

Baxter. All right — you first. 

Gwen. I was going to say this isn't my apartment. 

Baxter. That's just what I was going to say. 

Gwen. Then whose is it?" 

Baxter. I don't know. I live at the Earle Court three 
doors below here, but a fire broke out and I had to take to 
the roof. 

Gwen. It seems we must go on repeating each other. 
That's just why I am here. I escaped from the fire on the 
fire escape. 

Baxter. Yes — naturally — that's what it's for — 

Gwen. What what's for — 

Baxter. The fire escape — 

Gwen. Oh, is it? 

Baxter. I'm afraid we are getting up in the air again. ■ 

Gwen. We don't seem to be able to converse as reason- 
able human beings. Are you sure you escaped from the fire, 
and not a lunatic asylum ? 

Baxter, Do I look Hke a lunatic? 

Gwen. I don't know — I never saw one — but you look 
like what I think a lunatic — zvould look like. 

Baxter. If you don't talk more rationally I shall begin 
to suspect you — 

Gwen. What are you carrying? 

Baxter. Me? {Looks with surprise at the cage in his 
hand.) Bless my soul, I forgot I had it. It's a parrot I 
saved from burning to death. 

Gwen. From burning to death ? 



THE FIRE ESCAPE 7 

Baxter. Yes. The poor bird would have been suffocated 
by the smoke — 

GwEN, (laughs heartily). Why, the thing is stuffed! 

Baxter (looks at her in astonishment, then at the parrot). 
Well, I'll be — I think you're right — I'm a lunatic — call the 
ambulance. (Drops cage in disgust, kicks it into corner.) 

GwEN. (begins to laugh, puts her hat box on floor and sits 
on it, laughing zueakly at Baxter. Suddenly the box crushes 
in, she jumps up and looks at the box in surprise) . What in 
the world have I sat on ? 

Baxter. Your hat box. Though why you should sit on 
a hat box when there are chairs in the room, I can't under- 
stand. 

Gw^EN. (in great surprise) . My hat box! 

Baxter. Certainly! You had it in your hand when I 
first saw you! 

GwEN. (throws lid off empty hat box). Do you mean 
to say I carried an empty hat box across those roofs and 
didn't know it? 

Baxter. Well, of course I don't like to insinuate, but I 
think there's a pair of us. 

Gv^EN. (pushes the hat box out of the way). You know 
we shouldn't be talking like this, in a strange room, at this 
time of night — we don't even know each other — 

Baxter. I've lived at the Earle Court three years. 

GwEN. And I've lived there two — and we've never met — 

Baxter. Perhaps we've met on the elevator — 

GwEN. But that doesn't help any. I don't remember you 
— of course I've never seen you dressed — or I should say 
undressed — like this before. 

Baxter (hurriedly). Of course not — I'm sorry — 

GwEN. What? 

Baxter. I mean I'm sorry I don't appear to a better 
advantage — 

GwEN. (suddenly remembers her appearance). Oh, dear, 
I forgot — what must I look like — (turns quickly to glass 
over mantel). 



8 THE FIRE ESCAPE 

Baxter. You look very charming, if you will allow me 
to say so. 

GwEN. You said so before I allowed you, Mister — why, 
I don't even know your name. 

Baxter. Baxter — John Baxter, junior member of the 
law firm of Baxter & Baxter. 

GwEN. That's a nice name. I always think there is so 
much in a name ; don't you ? 

Baxter. Yes, one of my pet fancies has been that a per- 
son's name in some indefinable way expresses himself — 

Gwen. (downcast) . Oh, do you think so? 

Baxter. Yes — positively. 

Gwen. My name is Mudd ! 

Baxter (staggers). I beg your pardon. 

Gwen. You needn't — it's not your fault. 

Baxter. Why you're serious. I thought 'you were jok- 
ing at first. 

Gwen. You can't joke with the name of Mudd. I love 
my father, but I have never forgiven him for marrying with 
a name like that. 

Baxter (softly). Your mother must have loved him very 
much. 

Gwen. She did. She tried to make it up to me by call- 
ing me Gwendolyn — Gwendolyn Mudd! 

Baxter. Gwendolyn is a beautiful name — 

Gwen. (dolefully). Yes, but remember the Mudd! 

Baxter. I can't when I look at you — I can only think of 
applying blossoms and orange groves and — 

Gwen. Don't say lemons ! 

Baxter. I wasn't going to — 

Gwen. You were getting close to it. Do I remind you 
so much of fruit? 

Baxter (imptdsively). You're a peach — 

Gwen. Mr. Baxter! 

Baxter. Please forgive me. That was unpardonable. 

Gwen. What time do you suppose it is? 

Baxter. Must be along towards morning. 

Gwen. I'm terribly hungry. 



THE FIRE ESCAPE 9 

Baxter. So am I. Suppose we raid the pantry. 

GwEN. In a strange apartment? 

Baxter. Ob, I'm beginning to feel at home. The place 
seems deserted. 

GwEN. Then there's probably nothing to eat. 

Baxter. Nothing like trying. (Starts tozvard R. U. E.) 
I think this is the kitchen. 

Gwen. (looks through zvindozv, tipivard. Calls frantically 
to Baxter). Wait! There's a man coming down the fire 
escape ! 

Baxter. Another refugee like ourselves. 

Gwen. Oh, what shall we tell him? 

Baxter. Why — er — why should we tell him anything f 

Gwen. Oh, you big stupid ! Don't you realize how em- 
barrassing the situation is? 

Baxter. Embarrassing — how ? 

Gwen. (almost in tears). A perfect stranger to find us 
here — like this — (indicating their attire) at this hour of the 
night ? 

Baxter. Oh. — I see — I'll fix that all right — 

Gwen. How ? 

Baxter. I'll tell the duffer we're married. 

Gwen. And that this is our apartment? 

Baxter. Sure — just watch me — I'm the best little fixer 
in the business. 

Thompson appears at window, having come down the fire 
escape. 

Thompson. I beg your pardon — 

Baxter. That's all right — come right In — how's the fire ? 

Thompson enters. His manner is a little puzzled to find 
the apartment occupied. 

Thompson. The fire is pretty bad, but I think the worst 
of it is over. 

Baxter. My wife and I were going to have a bite to 
eat — will you join us? 

Thompson (surprised). To eat? 

Baxter. Yes — we've been up about an hour — I suppose 
you have too — 



10 THE FIRE ESCAPE 

Thompson. Yes, the fire awakened me and I — 

Baxter. We've been watching it from the window. 

Thompson {in surprise). For — an — hour!' 

Baxter. Yes, ever since it started ! 

Thompson. Oh, then, you were'nt in the Earle Court 
building ? 

Baxter. Oh, dear no, we live here! 

Thompson {stares at them in amasement). You — live — 
here! 

Baxter. Yes — it's not a very nice place, though — I hope 
you'll excuse the looks of it — 

Thompson. I think it's rather cozy. 

Baxter. Nothing much — we intend to give it up soon — 
don't we, dear? {To Gwen.) 

Gwen. Yes; I never did like it — it's so cheap looking 
You see, we rented it furnished and everything is in such 
bad taste. 

Thompson. Oh! 

Baxter. Have a chair, old chap, until I rustle some 
lunch. Gwen, dear, see if there is anything to drink in that 
imitation cut glass decanter. {Indicates sideboard.) Make 
yourself at home, Mr. — er — 

Thompson. Thompson's my name. 

Baxter. And ours is Mudd — Mr. and Mrs. Baxter- 
Mudd. {ExitR.U.E.) 

Gwen. {brings the decanter and glasses down to table, 
inz'ites Thompson to drink, pours the zuine.) Do have a 
glass, Mr. Thompson. You must have been chilled coming 
across those roofs. 

Tpiompson {accepts glass). Thanks. Did — er — did the 
noise of the fire disturb the — er — baby? 

Gwen. {almost spills her wine). The what! 

Thompson. The baby. I saw the cradle. {Indicates 
cradle np in L. U. corner.) Naturally I thought — 

Gwen. {sees the cradle, for the first time, almost faints). 
Oh, yes — yes — of course — I didn't catch what you were say- 
ing — yes — the baby — no, no — it didn't disturb her at all — 
she — she slept right straight through it ! - 



THE FIRE ESCAPE 11 

Thompson. Hmm ! That's remarkable ! 

GwEN. Yes, she's a remarkable child ! 

Thompson. May I ask her name? 

GwEN. Whose name? 

Thompson. The baby's. 

GwEN. Oh, yes, certainly — it's — it's Ann — Ann Marie ! 

Thompson. Beautiful name. How old is Ann? 

GwEN. {dazed, not used to lying). How old is Ann? 

Thompson. Your little girl — how old is she? 

GwEN. Why — I don't know — about six months, I guess ! 

Baxter enters zvith a tray containing a ham hone and 
bread. 

Baxter. Well, of all the empty, poverty-stricken ice 
chests in the world, that one out in the pantry is the limit. 
All I could find was an almost fresh loaf of bread and a. 
ham bone. I sliced the ham bone and made some ham bone 
sandwiches. I hope they don't choke you. {Puts tray on 
table.) 

Gwen. {trying to zvarn him). My dear, you are speaking 
of your own pantry. 

Baxter. Of course, darHng, our pantry. {Takes a sand- 
wich.) 

Thompson. Your wife was telling me about the baby — 

Baxter {zvith a sandzvich to his mouth, stares in amaze- 
ment at T'H.OM.vso^) . Huh? Baby? Whose baby? 

Thompson. Yours. 

(Baxter looks helplessly at Gwen.^ zvho turns azvay to 
hide her face. With her back to him she shyly indicates 
the cradle up stage.) 

Baxter. Oh — oh — of course — yes — certainly — the baby 
— cute little rascal. {Takes bite of sandzvich, talks zvith his 
mouth full.) 

Thompson. Children are wonderful blessings — 

Baxter. Yeh — I love 'em — why, that boy of mine is a 
wonder — he could talk when he was a year old — 

Thompson. Oh, you have more than one. 

Baxter {frightened). No! One is enough — wait till I 



12 THE FIRE ESCAPE 

get used to one before you spring another on me. He's a 
plenty, believe me. 

Tpiompson. What's his name? 

Baxter. I called him John, after me. 

Thompson. I don't quite understand. I understood 
your wife to say it was a girl — 

Baxter (sees he has made another break, starts to laugh 
to cover it). Ha, ha! That's a joke on her — 

Thompson (rises, goes to Gwen., speaks in an aside). 
Please forgive me for mentioning it, but is your husband — 
er — quite all right? {Touches his head.) 

GwEN. I am so sorry, I hoped you wouldn't notice it, but 
he is subject to these spells under excitement. The fire 
seems to have brought one on. You see — he — sort of 
rambles. 

Thompson {looking at Baxter). He certainly does — er 
— ramble. 

(Baxter is engaged trying to get some meat off the ham 
hone, turns his hack on them.) 

GwEN. But you won't pay any attention, will you ? You 
see, I have to humor him. 

Thompson. That's a frightful situation for a young 
woman like you. Does he ever become dangerous? 
(Baxter grows indignant as they discuss him.) 

Gwen, Oh^ yes, sometimes. 

{Betzveen hites Baxter throzvs angry glances in their di- 
rection.) 

Thompson. Look at him now! 

Gwen. Yes — he seems perfectly satisfied with that ham 
bone, doesn't he? 

Thompson. For all the world like a hungry dog. 

(Baxter becomes angry at this, grozvls at them over the 
hone zvhich he has in his mouth. Gwendolyn shudders, 
Thompson puts his arm protectingly over her shoulder.) 

Thompson. Don't be frightened. I'll shoot him if neces- 
sary. 

Gwen. Oh, no! Not that! 



THE FIRE ESCAPE 13 

Thompson. But, think, if he should bite you while in 
this condition, what would happen? 

GwEN. (sobbing betzveen laiigliter and tears). I'd get the 
hydrophobia. 

Baxter (seeing Gwen. in Thompson''s arms). Here — 
you- — you release my wife ! 

Thompson (pacifying him). That's all right, old fellow 
— go back to your bone — take it over in the corner and be 
happy. 

Baxter. What in — who are you, anyhow — haven't you 
got a home — do you think we are going to stay up all night 
to entertain you? 

Thompson. I'll not go while this lady needs my pro- 
tection. 

Baxter. This lady is my wife and doesn't need your 
protection. 

Janitor from the Earle Court apartments appears at zvin- 
dow, having come dozvn the fire escape. 

Janitor. Oh, Miss Mudd — Mr. Baxter — I've been lookin' 
ever}^where for you. The fire is out. You can go back to 
your rooms. (Goes up' the fire escape and disappears.) 

Thompson (looks from Baxter to Gwen.). So, that's it, 
is it ? Miss Mudd, Mister Baxter — and you live at the Earle 
Court apartments, eh? 

Baxter. I'll admit we lied — but you asked so darned 
many questions. 

Gwen. Yes, it's your fault. And, now that you know 
who we are, who are you? 

Thompson (sits in easy chair, puts his feet on the tabic). 
Why, I'm th.e owner of this apartment. 

(Baxter and Gwen. look at each other in surprise, then 
they begin to laugh. Gwen. is on the R. of stage, Baxter 
on the L. Thompson seated at table C. They begin the 
laugh softly, Thoaipson joins in, they laugh louder, and 
as the curtain drops they are screaming hysterically.) 

Curtain. 



Her Honor the Mayor 

By MARY MODENA BURNS, A. M. 

Price, 25 Cents 

A farcical satire in 3 acts; 3 males, 5 females. One of the 
latter may be assumed by a man. Time, 2 hours. Scene: A 
parlor. Characters: Lester Parmenter, who becomes the mayor's 
husband. Hon. Mike McGoon, who becomes the hired girl. Clar- 
ence Greenway, the village groom. Eve Greenway, who becomes 
the mayor. Doris Denton, the fire chief. Rosalie Myers, her 
clium. Eliza Goober, the "cuUud" cook, who becomes the chief 
of police. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — Eve's suburban villa. Three indignant suffragists. "I 
tell you, girls, the more a woman sees of a man, the more she 
likes a bulldog." Eve joins the cause of woman's rights. "I'll 
show you how a weak, clinging vine can tame a mere man." 
Lester'Parmenter, Eve's fiance and candidate for Mayor, is tamed. 
The political boss has a tilt with the leader of the suffragettes. 
"If a woman is a rag, a bone and a hank of hair, then man Is a 
jag, a drone and a tank of air!" The boss bribes the "cullud" 
hired girl to drug Lester. Eve dreams she has been elected 
Mayor. 

Act II. — Eve's dream. Women are making the laws and men 
are making the beds. "I've been darning stockings like a dutiful 
husband." Lester asks his wife for a little money. "What did 
you do with that dollar and a half I gave you last week?" Clar- 
ence is insulted by Mrs. McNabb and is rescued by Doris Denton, 
the brave Fire Chief. Rosalie bribes the Mayor. A "cullud" Chief 
rf the Police. Mrs. McNabb proposes to Clarence. "I still hold 
the winning card." A duel for the documents. "Saved, saved!" 

Act III. — Eve still dreams. Clarence's wedding day. Mike de- 
mands the ballot for men. "We have to pay taxes and why 
shouldn't we be allowed the ballot? Votes for Men!" The elope- 
ment of Clarence. Eliza arrests Mike, but he produces the "col- 
lateral" and is set free. "Officer, do your duty." Her Honor the 
Mayor is arrested. Eve awakes and learns that it was all a dream. 



The Lady of the Opera House 

By FANNY CANNON 

Price, 25 Cents 

Dramatic sketch; 2 males, 2 females. Time, 30 minutes. It 
deals with the affairs of a man and woman, struggling young 
artists. The old theme of misdirected love, jealousy and the 
realization of true devotion treated in a delightfully original man- 
ner. A most unusual bit of dramatic writing and not intended 
for beginners, but clever ambitious amateurs will find it an excel- 
lent vehicle in which to display their talent. There is notliing 
published better suited for dramatic schools. The author's book, 
"Writing and Selling a Play," is a sufficient recommendation as 
to her ability as a dramatist. 

T, S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

m W, Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



Deacon Dubbs 

By WALTER BEN HARE 

Price, 25 Cents 

A rural comedy-drama in 3 acts; 5 males, 5 females. Time, 
21/4 hours. One scene throughout, a farmyard, not difficult to set. 
A play of pathos, clean cut rural comedy, local color and a touch 
of sensation, making a truly great offering for amateurs. It is 
professional-like in construction, yet easily within the scope of any 
amateur society. The types are true to life, not exaggerated cari- 
catures. The star role is a comedy old farmer, not the usual stage 
type of hayseed, but the real, genuine, kind hearted, wise old 
Deacon, a part as appealing in its way, as Uncle Josh Whitcomb, 
Nathaniel Berry or David Harum. The heroine, Rose Raleigh, 
the brave little school ma'am, is a strong, emotional part. A 
country boy and a Swede hired girl are great comedy parts; also 
a comedy old maid (almost a star part), tomboy soubrette. A 
finely drawn hero, character auctioneer, an excellent villain, etc. 
The characters are almost all equally good. A male quartet and 
a crowd of villagers will greatly add to the success of the play. 
A feature scene in each act: A country auction, a country wed- 
ding, a country husking bee. This play is a sure hit. 

SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — Rose Cottage on an afternoon in June. Yennie Yensen, 
the Swedish hired girl, wants to borrow some yumps and decides to 
bid on the hired man at the auction, as "he bane a purty gude 
looking feller." Miss Philipena arranges for tlie auction sale. 
Rose and Amos. "Out of the broken ruins of time fair blossoms 
grow, God's last amen is a white rose." The Deacon arrives from 
Sorghum Center, State o' West Virginny. "Ding, dong, bell, 
pussy's in the well." The farm is sold to Rose Raleigh for two 
thousand dollars. The defeat of Rawdon Crawley. 

Act II. — Same scene, a morning in August. Wedding bells. 
"Happy is the bride that the sun shines on." Deuteronomy and 
Yennie bring wedding presents. Miss Philipena takes a nap with 
disastrous results. Yennie is scared. "Your face, it bane put on 
backwards." Back from the grave. "You are my wife. Take 
off that bridal wreatli, that sparkling necklace." "Who is tliis 
man?" The Deacon arrests Rawdon Crawley. 

Act III. — Same scene but a year later and in autumn. The 
husking bee. Songs and merriment by the villagers. "Rawdon 
Crawley has escaped!" "This is my punishment and my punish- 
ment is more than I can bear." The Deacon returns from New 
York. Miss Philipena and the fractious cow. The Deacon's night- 
mare. "Cork, cork, cork!" A wheelbarrow for two. The Virginia 
reel. The death of Rawdon Crawley. "We'll have a double wed- 
ding and for a honeymoon we'll all go down to Sorghum Center, 
State o' West Virginny." 

Their First Quarrel 

By CHARLES NEVERS HOLMES. 
Price, 15 Cents 

A comedy; 1 male, 1 female. Time, 15 minutes. A bit of glue, 
which has the appearance of chewing gum, underneath the seat of 
a chair — and "that's how the trouble began." A sbbtle bit of humor 
that will surely please. Could be played in a parlor without scenery, 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



The Boy Scout Hero 

By EDWIN PULLER 

Price, 25 Cents 

Comedy-drama for boys, in 2 acts; 17 males. Time, 1% hours. 
Scene: 1 exterior, easy to set. A boy scout troop on its annual 
camp in the woods And a street gamin who is living" in a cave 
with a hobo. He is rescued from a career of crime, proctu'es a 
fine position, and in the end becomes a favorite with tlie boys and 
qualifies as an Eagle Scout. It is an interesting- dramatic story 
well supplied with action and comedy; introduces boy scout stunts; 
true to scout principles and written by a scoutmaster of six 
years' experience. SYNOPSIS 

Act I. — Bing tries to make a sale. "We don't eat stolen 
chickens." "Dese ain't stole; dey was jest swiped when de 
farmer wasn't lookin'." Red Mike in search of Bing. The accu- 
sation and the attack. "No you don't." Scouts overpower Red 
Mike and bind his hands and feet. Bing starts to leave. "Stay 
here in camp with us." "Gimme a chance, fellers, won't ye?" 
Red Mike threatens the boys and is reminded of a safe robbery 
for which he has been hunted. "I don't wanna talk to no sheriff." 
Red Mike released. "1 ain't got nobody now but youse guys an' 
I'm a-goin' to make good or bust a suspender." 

Act II. — Two years have passed. Skinny relates a thrilling 
adventure in wlaich Bing has proven the hero. "Here's the snake's 
rattle." "We're proud to have you in our troop." Pei'formance of 
scout stunts. Bing wins all the contests except one. "I am proud 
to pin on your breast this Eagle Scout badge." "You have proven 
yourself a Boy Scout Hero." 

What's in a Name? 

By FANNY CANNON 

Price, 25 Cents 

Comedy; 2 males, 3 females. Time, 25 minutes. A girl objects 
to the loss of woman's distinctiveness by the change in naine upon 
marriage. She marries and attempts to retain her maiden name 
but a few days of misunderstandings and complications teach 
her the folly of it. Exceptionally clever and humorous. Written 
especially for President's Day, New York Tlieatre Club, and pro- 
duced under the direction of the author on the occasion of the 
Club's Annual Breakfast, at Hotel Astor, with a cast of profes- 
sional players. 

The Goose Creek Line 

By CARABEL LEWIS MUNGER 

Price, 15 Cents 

A comedy in 2 acts; 3 males, 10 females. Time, 1 hour. 
Scenes: 2 interiors. The fun and incident of this lively play 
concern the installation and coinpletion of a telephone line — the 
first in Goose Creek Hollow. It abounds in humorous incidents 
of the rural section and the characters are true to life. It was 
especially written for Chautauqua County, New York grange, and 
has been produced in manuscript numerous times with decided 
success. 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

154 W. Randolph Street, CHICAGO 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Price 15 Cents Each, Postpaid, Unless Different Price Is Given 



Winning Widow, 2 acts, V/2 hrs. 

(25c) 2 4,, 

Women Who Did, 1 hr. . . r25c) 17 

Yankee Detective, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 8 3 

FARCES, COIMEDIETAS, Etc. 

All on a Summer's Day, 40 min. 4 6 

April Fools, 30 min 3 

Assessor, The, 10 min 3 2 

Baby Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 

Billy's Chorus Girl, 25 min ... 2 3 

Billy's Mishap, 20 min 2 3 

Borrowed Luncheon^ 20 min.. 5 

Borrowing Trouble, 20 min.... 3 5 
Case Against Casey, 40 min... 2 3 

Country Justice, IS min 8 

Cow that Kicked Chicago, 20 m. 3 2 

Divided Attentions, 35 min 1 4 

Dude in a Cyclone, 20 min.... 4 2 

Family Strike, 20 min 3 3 

First-Class Hotel, 20 min .... 4 

For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 1 

Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min.. 5 
Fun in Photo Gallery, 30 min. . 6 10 
Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 
Great Pumpkin Case, 30 min.. 12 

Hans Von Smash, 30 min.... 4 3 

I'm Not Mesilf at All, 25 min. 3 2 
Initiating a Granger, 25 min.. 8 

Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 

Is the Editor In? 20 min... 4 2 

Kansas Immigrants, 20 min... 5 1 

Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 

Mike Donovan's Courtship, 15 m. 1 3 

Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 

Mrs. Jenkins' Brilliant Idea, 35m. 8 

Mrs. Stubbins' Book Agent, 30 m. 3 2 

My Wife's Relations, 1 hr.... 4 6 

Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 

Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 1 1 

Patsy O'Wang, 35 min 4 3 

Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min.. 6 2 

Persecuted Dutchman, 30 min. 6 3 

Regular Fix, 35 min 6 4 

Second Childhood, 15 min.... 2 2 

Shadows, 35 min 2 2 

Sing a Song of Seniors, 30 min. 7 

Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 3 

Taming a Tiger, 30 min 3 

That Rascal Pat, 30 min..... 3 2 

Those Red Envelopes, 25 min. 4 4 
Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 

min 3 6 

Turn Him Out, 35 min 3 2 

Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 
Two Gentlemen in a Fix, IS m. 2 

Two Ghosts in White, 20 min. . 8 

Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 

Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 

Wanted a Correspondent, 45 m. 4 4 

Wanted a Hero, 20 min 1 1 



M. F. 

Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 

Wrong Baby, 25 min 8 

Yankee Peddler, 1 hr 7 3 

VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES, KiOti- 
OLOGUES, ETHIOPIAN PLAYS. 

Ax'in' Her Father, 25 min.... 2 3 
Booster Club of Blackville, 25 m.lO 
Breakfast Food for Two, 20 m. 1 1 

Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 

Colored Honeymoon, 25 min. ..22 
Coon Creek Courtship, IS min. 1 1 
Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 
Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 ni.l4 

Counterfeit Bills, 20 min 1 1 

Darktown Fire Brigade, 25 min. 10 
Doings of a Dude, 20 min.... 2 1 

Dutch Cocktail, 20 min 2 

For Reform, 20 min 4 

Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min . . 2 1 
Glickman, the Glazier, 25 min. 1 1 
Good Momin' Judge, 35 min.. 9 2 

Her Hero, 20 min.... 1 1 

Hey, Rube ! 1 5 min 1 

Home Run, 15 min 1 i 

Jumbo Jum, 30 min 4 3 

Little Red School House, 20 m. 4 

Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 

Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 

Memohis Mose. 25 min 5 1 

Mischievous Nigger, 25 min ..42 

Mistaken Miss, 20 min 1 1 

Mr. and Mrs. Fido, 20 min 1 1 

Oh, Doctor! 30 min 6 2 

One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 
Oshkosh Next Week, 20 min . . 4 

Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 

Pete Yansen's Gurl's Moder, 10m. 1 
Pickles for Two, 15 min..... 2 
Pooh Bah of Peacetown, 35 min. 2 2 
Prof. Black's Funnygraph, IS m. 6 

Sham Doctor, 10 min 4 2 

Si and I, 15 min ; . . . . 1 

Special Sale, 15 min 2 

Stage Struck Darky, 10 min.. 2 1 
Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min.. 1 

Time Table, 20 min 1 1 

Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 
Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 
Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1 
Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. 3 
Umbrella Mender, 15 tnin.... 2 

Uncle Jeff, 25 min....' 5 2 

What Happened to Hannah, 15m. 1 1 



A srreat number of 

Standard and Amateur Plays 

not found here are listed in 

Denison's Cataloeue 



T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 1 54 W. Randolph St. . Chicaso 



POPULAR ENTERTi 

Price, Illustrated Paper < 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 



C%oii>iTnng5fiir 




IN this Series 
are i o xin d 
books toviching 
"every feature 
in the enter- 
tainment field.. 
Finely made, 
good paper, 
clear print and 
each book has 
an attrac t i v e 
individual cov- 
er design. « 



A Partial List 

DIALOGUES 

All Sorts of Dialogues. 

Selected, fine for older pupils. 
Catchy Comic Dialogues. 

Very clever; for young people. 
Children's Comic Dialogues. 

From six to eleven years of age. 
Country School Dialogues. 

Brand new, original 
Dialogues for District Schools. 

For country schools. 
Dialogues from Dickens. 

Thirteen selections. 
The Friday Afternoon Dialogues. 

Over 50,000 copies sold. 
From Tots to Teens. 

Dialogues and recitations. 
Humorous Homespun Dialogues. 

For older ones. 
Little People's Plays. 

From 7 to 13 years of age. 
Lively Dialogues. 

For all ages; mostly humorous. 
IVlerry Little Dialogues. 

Thirty-eight original selections. 
When the Lessons are Over, 

Dialogues, drills, plays. » 

Wide Awake Dialogues. 

Original successful. 

SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES 

Choice Pieces for Little People. 

A child's speaker. 
The Comic Entertainer. 

Recitations, monologues, dialogues. 
Dialect Readings. 

Irish, Dutch, Negj>o, Scotch, etc. 
The Favorite Speaker. 

Choice prose and poetry. 
The Friday Afternoon Speaker. 

For pupils of all ages. 
Humorous Monologues. 

Particularly for ladies. 
Monologues for Young Folks. 

Clever, humorous, original. 




015 939 490 6 # 

sSCrHfr- OUUT\ rTcrr»».— . ^ — . 

Choice collections, pathetic, ho- 
morous, descriptive, prose, 
poetry. 15 Nos., per No. 25c 

DRILLS 

The Best Drill Book. 

Very popular drills and marches. 
The Favorite Book of Drills. 

Drills that sparkle with originality. 
Little Plays With Drills. 

For children from 6 to 11 years. 
The Surprise Drill Book. 

Fresh, novel, drills and marches. 

^SPECIALTIES 

The Boys' Entertainer, 

Monologues, dialogues, drills. 
Children's Party Book. 

Invitations, decorations, games. 
The Days We Celebrate. 

Entertainments for all the holidays. 
"Good Things for Christmas. 

Recitations, dialogues, drills. 
Good Things for Sunday Schools. 

Dialogues, exerci.ses, recitation.?. 
Good Things for Thanksgiving. 

A gem of a book. 
Good Things for Washington 

and Lincoln .Birthdays. 
Little Folks' Budget. 

Easy pieces to speak, songs. 
One Hundred Entertainments. 

New parlor diversions, socials. 
Patriotic Celebrations. 

Great varietv of material. 
Pictured Readings and Tableaux. 

Entirely original features. 
Pranks and Pastimes. 

Parlor games for children. 
Private Theatricals. 

How to put on plays. 
Shadow Pictures, Pantomimes, 

Charades, and how to prepare. 
Tableaux and Scenic Readings. 

New and novel; for all ages. ' 
Twinkling Fingers and Sway- 
ing Figures. For little tots. 
Yuletide Entertainments. 

A choice Christmas collection. 

MINSTRELS, JOKES 

DIack American Joker. 

Minstrels' and end men's gags. 
A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. 

Monologues, stump speeches, etc. 
Laughland,via the Ha-Ha FJoute. 

A merry trip for fun tourists. 
Negro Minstrels. 

All about tiie business. 
The New Jolly Jester. 

Funny stories, jokps, gags, etc. 

Large Illustrated Catalogue Free 



T.S.DENISON&COMPANY, Publishers , 154 W . Randolph St. , Chicago 



